now Ive never really cared much for Halloween, even as a child before my eating disorder hit. i never understood the point of dressing up in random costumes and going to peoples door's asking for candy. wasn't that considered rude? now of course i enjoyed getting all my candy but different than many kids i had to hide my candy. as most of you know who read this blog (or maybe you do not) my mother sturggled with binge eating when i was a kid. i hid a lot of food, specifically the junk food in my room so my mother wouldnt eat it on me. this is also what i did with my candy. so i guess halloween doesnt bring up many pleasent memories either. but i would trade those days for these days ANY DAY.
when you have an eating disorder halloween isnt simply dressing up in some skanky outfit and eating candy or drinking for some. for one thing, i wouldnt even go out because i cant stand my body and refuse to wear any of those outfits. i would be in the dressing room in tears ready to take a pair of scissors to my skin to cut off all the fat (if only that really worked)
if for some reason i got a hold of candy, its the devil in my hand. i stare at it for a solid ten minutes. placing it down on my table constantly walking by it, staring at it, craving it, my mouth starts to drool, my taste buds become excited. but i continute to deny myself of this harmless treat.
for some people (and for me on occasion) i give into the purging devil and tell myself, FINE i will eat you but i will punish myself after, rid myself of the dirt and purge you until your completely gone. purge you until i see bile and blood. while you're engrossing yourself with candy you don't even realize how great it tastes because you're too focused on throwing it all up and making sure you get it up fast and good before it is all absorbed.
now that is just a short summary of the day of the life on halloween with a person with an eating disorder, and thanksgiving and christmas and new years just proceedingly get worse. so yea we kind of dread the holiday season.
BUT here are a few tips from NEDA on how to "survive halloween." :)
1. Costumes aren’t such a big deal
Halloween can get stressful trying to figure out what to wear. Focus less on how you look and more about enjoying the festivities! If you don’t like dressing up DON’T! Wear what is going to be comfortable so it does not get in the way of you having a good time!
2. Neither is the candy!
There may be a lot of difficult situations with food for the Halloween festivities. Remember to listen to your body and make smart decisions about what you can handle. Do not be afraid to politely turn down food if you have had enough. A simple “no thank you” should suffice! Make sure you consult with a professional to find the healthy balance you need!
3. Make a plan
Discuss situations ahead of time with your treatment provider so you feel prepared to handle situations you are anticipating. Halloween is so much fun; don’t let your eating disorder take that away!
4. Consider plans that don’t revolve around food
Trick or treating can be fun but there are so many other things that don’t involve food! Carve out a pumpkin to make a jack-o-lantern, go on a hay ride or experience a corn maze!
5. Don’t be afraid to leave. There is always next year!
If you encounter a stressful situation, feel free to excuse yourself. Halloween will be back next year, and you will have until then to work on any challenges you may have encountered this time!
Halloween can get stressful trying to figure out what to wear. Focus less on how you look and more about enjoying the festivities! If you don’t like dressing up DON’T! Wear what is going to be comfortable so it does not get in the way of you having a good time!
2. Neither is the candy!
There may be a lot of difficult situations with food for the Halloween festivities. Remember to listen to your body and make smart decisions about what you can handle. Do not be afraid to politely turn down food if you have had enough. A simple “no thank you” should suffice! Make sure you consult with a professional to find the healthy balance you need!
3. Make a plan
Discuss situations ahead of time with your treatment provider so you feel prepared to handle situations you are anticipating. Halloween is so much fun; don’t let your eating disorder take that away!
4. Consider plans that don’t revolve around food
Trick or treating can be fun but there are so many other things that don’t involve food! Carve out a pumpkin to make a jack-o-lantern, go on a hay ride or experience a corn maze!
5. Don’t be afraid to leave. There is always next year!
If you encounter a stressful situation, feel free to excuse yourself. Halloween will be back next year, and you will have until then to work on any challenges you may have encountered this time!
