waking up

well i woke up this morning to my phone singing "never good enough"- by rachel ferguson. this song describes my life. here are the lyrics:

Everybody said she was a winner
No one knew the secret kept within her
Starving for perfection (Eco: Perfection)
Hating her reflection (Eco: Reflection)

She tries harder than the average teen
An over achiever with low self esteem
Wants to look like a star, but she takes it too far
She's Never Good Enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight, eighty-eight
She's Never Good Enough

Now her friends know all about her problems
They all try their best to help her solve them
She feels like she's on trial. (Eco: On Trial)
But she's still in denial (Eco: In Denial)

She tries harder than the average teen
An over achiever with low self esteem
Wants to look like a star, but she takes it too far
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
She's Never Good Enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight, eighty-eight
She's Never Good Enough

Who's in control now (Eco: Who's in control now)
Who's in control now! (Eco: control now!)

Everybody said she was a winner
No one knew the secret kept within her

She tries harder than the average teen
An over achiever with low self esteem
Wants to look like a star, but she takes it too far
She's Never Good Enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight eighty-eight
She's Never Good Enough

She tries harder than the average teen

i hate that this describes my so called "life" but it does.  i am always unhappy with who i am on the outside and the inside. i want to be beautiful, i want to be perfect. people tell me perfection is unattainable, and i am starting to see that, because no matter what i do, it is never good enough. no matter how much weight i loose, its never enough.  i woke up this morning in that mindset and started my daily workout, which i hate doing and dread every day. here it is again, no matter how long i workout for, never enough. so i guess what i am getting at is that ED will never make you happy. but here i am striving for the fake happiness in something that is slowly killing me, most people are confused as to why i do this.... well so am i