For as long as I can remember, I can never recall ONCE every being excited for Halloween, or enjoying it. Now i am sure most of you are thinking "well DUH bekah, you have a severe eating disorder and Halloween has a lot to do with consuming candy." OK, well I cannot deny that this is a huge part of it, but not the largest part of the picture.
Growing up, I was always told, or passively told, that it wasn't OK to be who I was naturally. It wasn't OK to show if I nwas angry or sad, it wasn't okay to have needs and wants. I was expected to be like one of those beautiful porcelain dolls that you see on a shelf. Just beautiful, happy, and perfect in every way. I was taught to be seen, not heard. I was taught the only way to achieve love and acceptance was by being perfect. Getting the perfect grades, the perfect friends, the perfect dancer, just a perfect girl in general. Which basically was being someone I was not. Because deep down, I think we all know that it is impossible to be perfect all of the time. But I strived my hardest to achieve that persona.
You see, Halloween has turned into this great excitement to be someone you're not. To me it teaches little kids it's not OK to be who you are, that it is more fun, and exciting to be someone or something else. Being taught this has become one of the most deadliest lessons in my life. Being taught that I wasn't okay as who I was is one of the biggest contributors to my anorexia. I thought maybe if I lost enough weight and looked different, looked pretty, looked attractive, than maybe I would be loved. Just like those naive innocent girls wanting to be princesses for Halloween, because deep down, those girls have learned that being a princess is the best thing any little girl can be in life. When in reality, being themselves is the best thing they can be in life. I think we need to start teaching our children that being yourself is OK. Its OK to have wants and needs, it''s okay to have feelings, it;'s okay to be as how God created you.
Ghosts, witches, zombies, and monsters are not the scariest things to me on Halloween. The most terrifying thing to me, is seeing children pretending to be who they're not and adults congratulating it.
