a friend messaged me this question....

how often do you make promises to yourself that you don’t keep?

for me, I know how awful it feels when you are using the eating disorder behaviors – the restricting,  purging,exercising, and  laxative abuse,  – and feel so sick and disgusting and swear to yourself up and down that “I’m done!” and, “I’ll never do that again!” only to find yourself doing it the very next day (or sometimes even sooner)!
So how do you get past it and learn to keep those promises and take forward motion steps in your eating disorder recovery?

i always tell myself that tomorrow will be different, tomorrow i will succeed, yet tomorrow never comes. and honestly, for us who have eating disorders, there may not be a tomorrow, if we keep going on everyday like this, it could be too late.  Yet i find it so hard to believe this, and i know a lot of other ed people do as well. i never think i am "sick enough" to die, so in my mind, there will always be a tomorrow, and i can put full force in my recovery tomorrow.

that "tomorrow" has now become 8 years later. truth behold if i continue going on like this, will there be another 8 years, or even another year? Sure in the moment i can ask myself this, but maybe in another 5 minutes ill be back into my same mindset of "not being sick or thin enough" to even question if i will be around in a year. 

People with eating disorders aren't the only people that take waking up the next morning for granted. we all go to bed every night expecting to wake up to the sunrise and go on with another day of our lives. But the reality is, life can be so unexpected at times. You never know when it truly will be your last day, freak accidents happen all of the time, yet we are all to ignorant to believe that they can and will happen to us.

how about instead of living for tomorrow, we live for today and make changes TODAY??